Janay, we have so much in common! I wrote about throwing my back out in 2018 after trying to keep up with (a.k.a. "compete") with my expert skier husband's vert (I won't be so self-promoting as to link to the article here, but will definitely share if you're interested). I finally realized, it's the feeling we're after, not the goal. There are people out there who have achieved every goal I can imagine and more, but who are still not at peace with themselves. Bravo for doing the self-reflection necessary to realize this. I look forward to hearing more about your ski adventures.